Excerpts on Forgiveness: Part2

An Excerpt from "Living A Life That Matters, ch. 4"

"Are you strong enough to forgive?  Or is the notion of getting even the only power you have over someone who has hurt you?"  Forgiveness, I try to tell them, is a favor we do ourselves, not a favor we do the the other guy.

...you read in the book of Deuteronomy (23:7), "You shall not hate an Egyptian because you were strangers in his land."  You are not to hate the Egyptians for having mistreated you so badly, not because they deserve your forgiveness but because you deserve better than to be permanently mired in the bitterness of the past.  As long as your soul is corroded by hatred, you are still their slave. 

At the Passover Seder, when (we) celebrate the memory of the Exodus from Egypt, we taste a bitter herb before the meal to recall the bitterness of slavery, then immediately override the bitter taste with matzo and wine, which are symbols of liberation (freedom!).  (we are now free from all bondage because of YHWH's words to us...don't hate, forgive!)

Once we realize that the thirst for revenge is really a need to reclaim power (that the person or situation held over us) and shed the role of victim, we can find ways of meeting that need without hurting another person and compromising our own goodness.


Note:


I like the words about not having to compromise our own good.  I have read that the Jewish people believe that it is their duty (since they were chosen to receive YHWH's instructions) to bring good (G-D) into the world.  So likewise, if we are the children of Israel it is our job as well and when we lash out and do hurtful things, we are not fulfilling that role.  


Please understand when I make this note, I do understand how complicated it is to work through situations where forgiveness is required.  I do know that deep hurt is often involved along with many other emotions.  I will not attempt to minimize this topic...it is not small.  We too have had to deal with these topics. I write these words to myself, to remember and encourage myself that we must move forward.  When I stop being able to move forward, then I am bound.  YHWH doesn't want me bound to anyone or anything but Him.  I am thankful knows our needs.


I thought this was a timely observation, being so close to Passover.


Blessings 

An Excerpt from: Living A Life That Matters

What is the difference between revenge and bearing a grudge?


This is an excerpt from the book, "Living A Life That Matters."

Jews are told in the Torah, "You shall not hate your brother in your heart," and the great commandment in Leviticus 19:18, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself," is preceded by the words "You shall not take revenge or bear a grudge."  A commentator on the Jewish legal code defines taking revenge as saying, "I won't lend you my garden hose, because when you borrowed my shovel, you broke it."
And bearing a grudge is saying, "I'll lend you my garden hose, even though when you borrowed my shovel you broke it."
BUT the attitude we should strive for is to say "I'll lend you my garden hose because you're my neighbor."

It is cleansing to forgive, to rid your soul of bitterness which is an inevitable ingredient of plotting revenge against the person who has hurt you.  If we fantasize about getting even and never act on it, which is what most of us do, we end up embittering ourselves and not affecting the other person at all.  I remember telling a divorcee who was still angry at her ex-husband for having left her ten years earlier, "Look at what you've been doing all these years.  You've been standing here in Massachusetts holding a hot coal in our hand, waiting for your ex-husband to walk by so you can throw it at him.  Meanwhile, he has been living happily in New Jersey with his new family, and you've burned your hand waiting."


A few thoughts


I like the description above because I think sometimes when we try to understand our own hearts it's hard to do because we're unsure what some sins really look like if I don't have a clear definition.   I also like the reminder given in the description of the woman holding the hot coal.  The only one being hurt by the anger or desire for revenge she is holding onto is her.  It's so sad, but it's her.  It's so odd that we will hold onto things like that.  You'd think we'd want to drop them and run from them as fast as possible but our first child like response is for me to hit you  because you hit me!



"Forgive" defined
1.  To give up resentment
2.  To grant relief from payment


I think, in a way, forgiveness is a form a acceptance of YHWH's will.  When we do it, we agree that He is in control of all things and that He knows what is best.  We accept that He will judge righteously one day. And if we are following Him, He will direct our steps and He will provide what we need.  If we have strayed away from Him, He will allow us to reap what we sew...but He will forgive us and heal us if we return.  


Forgiveness is such a big subject, I just wanted to remember this tid bit from the book.  I love inspiring thoughts. 


Ps 103:12 As far as the east is from the west...that's how far YHWH has moved our transgressions from us.


He has put our wrong doing against Him in a place that I and my wrong doing never shall meet. He wants us to be like Him.

Everyday, I Choose...

Every new day I wake up, put my feet on the floor and I choose. Each day I am allowed a choice to choose anger or understanding, bitterness or acceptance, darkness or light. The choices we make will ultimately reveal the stuff we're made of. 
-Physician's Rx by Jordan Rubin

I like to remember this.

This is a re-post from my other blog.

Quote of the Day

  "Search for God like a man whose head is on fire searches for water."    E.P.L.

I love this quote.  We really are that desperate, we just don't realize it most of the time.  Ever since I read this quote, it has stuck in my mind because of how true it is.  If we could find the focus and determination to hold on to this, life would be an inspired adventure that would never suffer from boredom or lack of creativity or missed opportunity to do good.

May you find truth, for it is light.