An Excerpt from: Living A Life That Matters

What is the difference between revenge and bearing a grudge?


This is an excerpt from the book, "Living A Life That Matters."

Jews are told in the Torah, "You shall not hate your brother in your heart," and the great commandment in Leviticus 19:18, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself," is preceded by the words "You shall not take revenge or bear a grudge."  A commentator on the Jewish legal code defines taking revenge as saying, "I won't lend you my garden hose, because when you borrowed my shovel, you broke it."
And bearing a grudge is saying, "I'll lend you my garden hose, even though when you borrowed my shovel you broke it."
BUT the attitude we should strive for is to say "I'll lend you my garden hose because you're my neighbor."

It is cleansing to forgive, to rid your soul of bitterness which is an inevitable ingredient of plotting revenge against the person who has hurt you.  If we fantasize about getting even and never act on it, which is what most of us do, we end up embittering ourselves and not affecting the other person at all.  I remember telling a divorcee who was still angry at her ex-husband for having left her ten years earlier, "Look at what you've been doing all these years.  You've been standing here in Massachusetts holding a hot coal in our hand, waiting for your ex-husband to walk by so you can throw it at him.  Meanwhile, he has been living happily in New Jersey with his new family, and you've burned your hand waiting."


A few thoughts


I like the description above because I think sometimes when we try to understand our own hearts it's hard to do because we're unsure what some sins really look like if I don't have a clear definition.   I also like the reminder given in the description of the woman holding the hot coal.  The only one being hurt by the anger or desire for revenge she is holding onto is her.  It's so sad, but it's her.  It's so odd that we will hold onto things like that.  You'd think we'd want to drop them and run from them as fast as possible but our first child like response is for me to hit you  because you hit me!



"Forgive" defined
1.  To give up resentment
2.  To grant relief from payment


I think, in a way, forgiveness is a form a acceptance of YHWH's will.  When we do it, we agree that He is in control of all things and that He knows what is best.  We accept that He will judge righteously one day. And if we are following Him, He will direct our steps and He will provide what we need.  If we have strayed away from Him, He will allow us to reap what we sew...but He will forgive us and heal us if we return.  


Forgiveness is such a big subject, I just wanted to remember this tid bit from the book.  I love inspiring thoughts. 


Ps 103:12 As far as the east is from the west...that's how far YHWH has moved our transgressions from us.


He has put our wrong doing against Him in a place that I and my wrong doing never shall meet. He wants us to be like Him.