On Bended Knee

I had to post this for myself...it came at such perfect timing...I found this at one of the blogs where I have found encouragement on more than one occasion.  I was in awe how amazingly fitting it was for me, even in the words she chose to write it. I want to share it here...

Abba is always at work, isn't he!

i found it here:

http://shelookethwell.blogspot.com/2012/05/on-bended-knee.html  

On Bended Knee

Behold, the handmaiden of the Lord, be it unto me according to Your word. (Luke 1:38)

I am not sure if all the ‘ details’ of this struggle are Your will, but, these are my circumstance right now—I cannot change my circumstances, I have tried (in vain!)

All I can do is trust You.  Wait upon You.  Oh, I could fight and thrash and fuss and whine about it. (which I have, sadly)  Or, I could rest and trust and wait.

For, YOU,  Maker of the universe know my name and have formed me for Your very own.  You hold my fragile heart, with all its wild passions and dreams in Your hands.  You love me with a deep and everlasting love. 

Your thoughts towards me are of peace and hope.  You do all things well.  ALL things. (period)  I was created for Your glory, show me how to best represent You in my circumstances.

A love so divine . . . demands my soul, my life, my all.

We all have secret dreams, hidden struggles or difficult circumstances, right?  I purposely didn’t share the specifics of my current ‘struggles’ because they really are irrelevant.  The answer is the same no matter the circumstances, the dreams surrendered, the struggle or pain. 

He loves us. Period

We were created for HIS glory, not our comfort or wants.  Period

There is but one position, on bended knee, bowing before our King, saying, ‘behold, the handmaiden of the Lord, be it unto me according to Your word.’

The enemy may roar, but this is, by far, the safest, most glorious place we could be.

Blessings,

Michelle

                       Thank you for these beautiful words Abba and thank you Michelle for writing them!  Abba, you are always on time and always worthy of all praise! 

A New Diagnosis

Well, it almost seems strange (but why would it since nothing is by chance) that I started a new blog and named it, "Chronicles of a Journey" because here I am, about to chronicle a journey that YHWH has determined.  This particular journey began for us on April 23, 2012. 

I am a 47 y/o married, mother of 3 and I recently received a very odd diagnosis from the doctors after being admitted to the hospital with some pressure in my chest.  After getting an EKG in the ER, the doctor felt it would be a good idea to stay over night and have a stress test (walk on a tread mill while having an EKG and ultra sound of my heart) the next morning, just to be on the "safe side."  I reluctantly agreed because my family wanted me to do it.  I was very nervous but we all thought it would be fine once it was finally done.  A while after the test was done the doctors came into my room and said the stress test had returned abnormal.  None of us, even the doctors were expecting that.  Now the doctors want me to stay overnight for an angio gram, this is where they go through your femoral artery in your thigh with a wire into your heart with a dye to see if there are any blockages.  This is where it gets crazy...during the angio gram, the doctor says to me, "my dear, you are a medical miracle!" He had found that I was born without a left main artery in my heart.  Abba has provided collateral circulation from my right main artery and really it is a miracle what He has done in for me. 

After the diagnosis the cardiologists come back into my room after they had reviewed the angio and said that they wanted to do bypass surg. which I really couldn't imagine, ever!!!  After much prayer and again (I believe) being lead by Abba's hand, went for a second opinion with a congenital heart specialist (that is another long story and I'm leaving a lot out).  I had been advised by a congenital specialist, who I found by divine intervention(??) to see a congenital specialist in my area because they are better equipped to deal with congenital issues than general cardiologists.  The specialists looked at my tests and felt that while there were some abnormalities in the heart function, I was not in immediate danger and could take a medicine called a beta blocker for about a month and then return to see them and talk about having the stress test re-done.  This was music to my ears!

I do not want to take this medicine but have prayed for the wisdom of these doctors to advise me.  I have really been in quite a trial in this matter because I don't want to limit what Abba is able to do because of my fear. 

Please pray for my family and me that Abba will continue to lead us in His great mercy and please entreat Abba for peace in my mind and for Him to strengthen my body as this has been quite taxing on my physically and emotionally.  (**I want you to know that I do have quite a bit more energy than I did when I first came home!!)

Abba has been very kind in dealing with me and He has shown me some amazing things... One of them He gave me before going into the angio gram, it was the verses out of Is. 43-44 which He says (I'm shortening this) I do a new thing now it shall spring forth shall you not know it...I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert...And, Thus saith YHWH that made thee, I formed thee from the womb, which will help thee, fear not O Jacob, I will pour water on the thirsty ground...I have formed thee; thou art my servant: O Israel, thou shall not be forgotten of me.

He gave me those scriptures before I went in and found out the diagnosis.  I thought they were comforting before the test but they seemed so much more personal and prophetic to me once the doctor explained the results of the test.  That is one of many things YHWH has done since April 23 when this all began for us.  In all His wonderous goodness though, my frail flesh is still calling on Him for peace and complete healing, if it is His good will.

If you read this, will you please call on YHWH's people to remember us and ask for YHWH's good mercies toward us.  He has been wonderful and been so kind to us.  He is able to do over what I can ask or even think, HalleluYah!  His hand is upon us!

There are so many details I have not included here.  Abba has been so good and so close.  I must give Him thanks for His unlimited love and for taking me through this all.

To my family, thank you for loving this gal:)  You all are a rock to me and I love you so very much.  I thank Abba for you all every single day and I give thanks for the blessing of this amazing life He has given me...and repented sorely for my complaints, when I should of been thankful. 

 

 

Shalom and blessings

While I'm Waiting by John Waller {Fireproof music video with lyrics}